People will often tell me that "they" do not want any services for themselves.  My response often gets a quick reaction, of disbelief, in what they heard me to say what I did..."that's nice, the services are about you, but NOT for you".  What do I mean?  Simple.  When someone passes away, we always want to try and follow the "disposition" that they preferred.  That may be, today, a casket burial, or cremation with burial, or scattering.  The services are so much more.  The services are FOR those surviving.  Yes, there is often a religious, spiritual, part that is for the repose of the soul of the deceased.  However, we encourage services, that will allow survivors the opportunity to "share the story" of the deceased.  It is through sharing that we are able to "heal", and to allow the deceased to live on through their survivors.  Those of us left "behind" following the death of a loved one, should be allowed to own  our grief.  We have earned that right. The more you love, the more you grieve.  You have earned the right to experience the agony brought about by grief.  It is through the process of grieving that we begin to heal.  What makes us cry today, may make us smile at some point down the road.  Grief will be with you for the rest of your life, but, by going through the process, and knowing your feelings are all a part of a natural process, you can come to a point of "acceptance".  It is with acceptance that we learn how to think of the deceased, and to continue to share their story, so that they live on through those of us left behind, and certainly will be an important part in the shaping of future generations.  How cool would it be to know that a person that was not even born when we passed, has learned a skill that we possessed during life and has been handed down through the generations.  We now have lived on through those left behind, hence the value of celebrating a life lived.