Prinsen, Philip S.

Ontario: Passed away peacefully on Wednesday, March 25, 2015 at his home surrounded by his loving family.  Philip was born on Septermber 12, 1933, in Rochester, NY, to William and Ruth "Stickles" Prinsen. He was the youngest of four children having been predeceased by his parents; brothers Lawrence and Richard and a sibling who died in infancy.  Phil is survived by his wife, Anna; their children, Philip "Matt" (Brenda), Darwin, Douglas (Christine), and Joseph; grandchildren, Scott, Heather, Chad, Danielle, Sean, and Michael, nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews, extended family and friends.

Philip attended John Marshall High School in Rochester, NY and graduated in 1951.  He worked as a payroll supervisor at Gleason Works in Rochester, NY and then as a contractor and part-time farmer for many years.  In 1968, Anna "Weber" and Philip were married and shared 48 loving years together.  Phil enjoyed hunting, fishing, and horseback riding.  He was also a fan of the game of golf.  Philip took a particular interest in reading both novels, and newspapers.  He cherished the family trips taken to Little Sodus bay in Fair Haven and Keuka Lake.

Friends are invited to join the family for a time of visitation, on Saturday, March 28, 2015, from 1-2PM at the Murphy Funeral & Cremation Chapel, 1961 Ridge Road, Ontario, NY 14519 where a celebration of Philip's life will be offered at 2PM.  Guests are invited to stay and visit with the family following the service.  Memorials in memory of Philip may be made to the Humane Society of Wayne County, 1475 County House Road, Lyons, NY 14489.  Online condolences may be left at www.murphyfuneralservices.com .

Transcript: Dr. Joseph K. Prinsen's Eulogy for Philip S. Prinsen

Saturday, March 28 ^th , 2015

Ontario, New York

Good afternoon everyone.

I would like to first thank all of you for joining our family here today.  This memorial is a unique opportunity to celebrate the life of a very special man – a man who was a friend, confidant, colleague, family member, and indeed, a husband.  For some of us, we had a special father-son bond, and that is the connection I will be highlighting today.  I know my father would be proud of the respect you've shown and be honored by your presence.  Although we are here to mourn the passing of my father, I know he would rather, we take this time to celebrate his life and the time he was able to share with us, and all of you.

When considering what to say here today, I thought deeply about how to describe my father; how to describe a man which many of you knew for years, in ten short minutes?  This is a daunting task for an academic, who is both rarely confronted with prepared remarks and confined to a time limit.

As my family knows, my Dad's favorite movies were Westerns, and it was while recalling this, that I came across this quote from John Wayne, "Talk low, talk slow and don't say too much."

Don't say too much – my dad wasn't the most talkative man, especially as the years went by.  He would often seem to be oblivious to a conversation I would be having with my Mom, but then seemingly out of nowhere he would chime in, he would say his piece, no more, no less, and then just as quickly as he interjected, he would be back to reading his newspaper or novel.

My dad didn't feel the need to say too much.  As many of you are probably aware, I moved away from New York several years ago to attend college, medical school and obtain my PhD.  Often when I would return home to visit over vacations or holidays, I would be talking with my Mom in the dining room when my Dad would interject into our conversation, "Have you graduated yet?"

He would say this in his clear, confident and distinctive voice, "Have you graduated yet?"  You would think that this often out-of-the-left field question would have seemed odd to me, but after the second, third, tenth, twentieth time, I came to expect this question.  In time I came to know what this question meant . My dad didn't say too much, but what he did say, had an important underlying message.  The question on the surface was simple, he knew the answer, and he said it with a smirk.  Later I learned that he read my publications and dissertation book at home, in private, numerous times.  -PAUSE-  I believe he approved of my work, as I never received any corrective comments.

My father was a traditional parent and a man of few words.  He was able to teach my brothers and me numerous life skills.  He was raised to be a conventional man; keep your feelings to yourself, provide food and shelter for your wife and children, and make sure your sons grow up to be good men .  Fulfilling all of these duties can often be difficult.  How do you teach sons to be good, well rounded men, when you were taught to not share your feelings with them?

Dad did this by teaching us all of the skills that characterized the ideal person.  As an example, our dad taught us each how to drive.  A skill that I would later utilize when responding to emergency calls in a Paramedic fly car or ambulance.  -PAUSE-  For those of you that know of my liberal use of the accelerator while responding to emergency calls, I'm sure you are now wondering just what he taught me in those driving lessons that lead me to my legendary lead foot. -PAUSE- In all seriousness, my brother Doug would share with me his fond memories of his first lesson driving a snowmobile with dad.  And later, applying these lessons, my brother Matt recalls the fun times snowmobiling with dad in the Adirondacks.

Dad taught us important life lessons, like problem solving.  In my work as a physician-scientist, I am often placed in situations where plans have to be revised, sometimes while a patient is on the hospital bed in front of me.  As a contractor, dad would often give the same amount of care to solving a problem as I do in my profession.  He knew that not every problem had the same solution, and many problems would come with several solutions.  He taught us how to evaluate all of our options, and identify all of the tools we need to succeed in our endeavors.  With his words he taught us how to tighten the last slip nut when installing a drain trap on a sink; when that pipe leaked after the first attempt, it was through his actions, that he taught us how to calmly vent our frustration, occasionally with some colorful language.  Utilizing his skills as a contractor, dad refurbished houses in order to resell them.  My brother Darwin warmly remembers working side-by-side with dad on these houses; he learned a great deal from dad, and dad was also able to learn from him.

When my parents moved into their first country house together, my former city-slicker dad was able to fulfill one of his dreams; he was able to have horses.  As an animal lover, dad took great care of these horses. My brothers recall the times dad showed them how to saddle and ride the horses.  My dad's love for horses and animals never faded, and allowed us to bond when I raised my own horses several years later.

Dad enjoyed hunting greatly and equally enjoyed sharing this hobby with each of us.  Whether it was taking a hunting trip to the Adirondacks with my brothers, or simply our first time in the woods behind the house, each time was a great bonding experience.  In addition to our hunting trips, dad also liked to take us fishing.  He would take us fishing in Fair Haven, on family vacations to Keuka Lake and Seneca Lake, and was always a staple of our times tent camping on the shore of Lake Ontario.

Our father may have not told us how he felt with his words, but it was through him being there for us when we needed him, and the times when we didn't think we needed him, that he showed his love for us.

Our dad lived life to the fullest; whether it was a warm summer evening while on vacation in Little Sodus, or while sitting at the dining room table, on a cold winter morning, dad was always cheerful and had a joke to tell.

Our mom and dad were lucky, in that they shared forty-eight happy years together.  My dad's "don't say too much" policy also extended to my mom; however, in private he would often open up to her and express just how thankful he felt to share his life with her and how much he needed mom.  They were not only husband and wife, they were friends, confidants, partners, and so much more.  Even though he may not have expressed his admiration for our mom at times in words, it was obvious to all of us just how much he loved her, and cherished their time together.  He loved her as much on the ten-thousandth day as he did on the first; maybe, even more.

My dad never discouraged any of my pursuits, including my pursuit of science and medicine.  This was his way of providing support.  This was evident to me when he changed from reading novels to reading medical journals and medical articles while I was in medical school.  He was able to come to Michigan and see me graduate with my PhD, and although he was not able to attend in person, he was proud of my graduation from medical school.

My father lived a long life, and he was able to see and experience many things. Dad was able to share in many moments in our lives that made him proud. He attended the weddings of his sons. He witnessed his sons become fathers themselves.  He shared countless hours of joy with his grandchildren; Scott, Chad, Heather, Danielle, Sean and Michael. He enjoyed years with our mother, Anna; raising children, traveling, good times, hard times, and every day between.

It's hard to describe a man, who lived such a full and happy life.

It was obvious for everyone that when dad entered hospice care, that we had a limited time together. Each family member, notably mom, was able to spend time with dad and help in our own ways, using the skills we have been given to ease his suffering and provide comfort. During the last few days of his life, he waited until everyone had the opportunity to say, "Goodbye."  This is a gift that few families can enjoy, and for that we are eternally grateful. Dad passed away peacefully, after having spent the night next to mom, surrounded by his boys.  We could not have asked for more.

"Have you graduated yet?" Yes dad, and I'm glad you were able to share it with me.