Ray Ettington of Rochester, NY passed away peacefully on August 28, 2025, at the age of 95. During his final days he moved into hospice care at the Light Hill Comfort Care Home in Canandaigua, NY, where he continued to share his stories and jokes, play his violin, and enjoy being surrounded by his family's love and laughter.

He was born in Ponca City, OK, the second son to Martin and Mildred Ettington. His wife of 57 years, Betty Overhiser Ettington, predeceased him in 2011. He is survived by his four adoring daughters, Deborah (Tom), Barbara (Steve), Susan (John), and Linda (Jim) and their families that gave Ray eight grandchildren, eight great-grandchildren and one due in September. Ray's older brother Richard predeceased him at the age of 98. Other surviving family members include Ray's devoted cousin Christina, sister-in-law Betty, nephew Martin, niece Kathryn, and their families.

Ray moved from Ponca City at the age of 5, amid the Dust Bowl, when his family headed East for his father's career. He was raised in Pelham, NY, learning the classical violin at the age of 8, which became a true passion in his later years, filling the air with music until his final days. He became a proud Eagle Boy Scout - instilling "volunteerism" into his life. He graduated from Pelham Memorial High School in 1947 and entered the University of Rochester, where he graduated in 1951 with a degree in Psychology, although Ray claimed he majored in "extracurriculars." It was when he auditioned for the campus radio station, WRUR, that he discovered his love of performing. He got over his initial stage fright and grew from news reader to sports announcer, to master of ceremonies for college banquets and performer in campus musical comedies. As Station Manager, he was the first to welcome women students to have their own program. He was introduced to his future bride during his senior year. Betty was attending Geneseo College nearby, earning her teaching degree. They shared the joy of silliness and laughter.

After graduation, Ray enlisted and served for two years in the U.S. Marine Corps. Perhaps due to his interest in radio, much of his time in the Marines was spent learning radio repair. He felt lucky that the Korean War was ending before he was shipped overseas. He left the service in 1953 and returned to New York to search for his college sweetheart. Betty and Ray married in Bath, NY in 1954 with a reception at the family Keuka Lake cottage.

In 1953, IBM hired him as a sales trainee, and for 36 years he enjoyed selling IBM products and the growing and evolving power of computers. He started in the IBM Electric Accounting Machine (punched card) division and built his portfolio of customers to include Eastman Kodak in Rochester, NY; Creole (EXXON) Petroleum in Caracas, Venezuela; U.S. Air Force Logistics Command in Harrisburg, PA; and became a marketing manager in Wilmington, DE. After each sale, he would personally participate in the installation of the large computer systems and ensure they were working. Completing years of frontline sales, he was promoted to the IBM Headquarters in White Plains, NY in the Data Processing Marketing Division. He became responsible for teaching new salesmen and system engineers, presenting computer concepts and large systems products to Fortune 500 customer executives and supporting the IBM legal team in defense of the Department of Justice antitrust case.

During those growth years of IBM, the company was also known as "I've Been Moved," and Ray's work location moved 12 times. His most cherished assignment was Caracas, Venezuela, from 1958-60. He and Betty moved their furniture, car and two toddlers to set up a home for two years. They returned to the U.S. with incredible stories of adventures and their third daughter. Living abroad sparked his pursuit of learning the history and culture of new places and he valiantly tried to learn Spanish. While In Caracas, he volunteered to work with the Boy Scouts and took them jungle camping.

They returned to the U.S. briefly to Old Saybrook, CT, then Camp Hill, PA for over four years where they welcomed their fourth daughter. Ray took up "curling" as a sport and played at the Hershey arena. From there they moved to Chester Springs, PA for over three years, and then to Ridgefield, CT for 18 years. Ray announced this move by telling his family they had been traded from the Phillies to the Mets, which became Ray's team from then on. Ray enjoyed being involved with the Friends of the Ridgefield Orchestra and other fundraisers Betty organized. He also served on PTA boards and coached his daughters' softball teams. Their last move for work was to Rhinebeck, NY.

After retiring in 1988, he and Betty made their home at Keuka Lake, NY, where they embraced volunteering and enjoyed friends and family at the lake. Ray served as a docent at the Glenn Curtiss Museum, ESL tutor, and court mediator. They spent 30 winters as "snowbirds" in St. Augustine, FL, where he would choose something to learn each winter like a new musical instrument, cooking a signature dish or ham radio. After Betty's passing, Ray spent one December in Costa Rica, taking a Spanish immersion course and enjoying the adventure. Over the years, he and Betty visited all 50 states, with extra visits to daughters in Colorado, Michigan, and New York City. An extended European vacation during their Caracas years, a family cross-country camping trip in 1969, and numerous Elderhostel programs were also fond memories. When he felt he could no longer travel, he turned to technology for virtual adventure.

Ray embraced the new technology that laptop computers afforded and delighted in his role as virtual vacation pioneer. He researched and created over 50 journeys to share, delighting in learning new tricks like using animation and AI. After Betty's passing, Ray moved back to Rochester, NY, to enjoy life at Valley Manor, an independent senior residence, where he resided for 11 years. He referred to his new home as "Shangri-La." Here he rekindled his passion for the violin and joined the Fiddlers of the Genesee, performing at various country fairs. He played his violin every holiday and birthday at Valley Manor and made monthly virtual vacation presentations for his fellow residents as well as a Zoom fan club. He enjoyed his dinner companions and lunch buddies, and the cultural offerings of the city, especially music, returning full circle to his university days.

Ray's advice for happiness in old age was to keep learning and help other people. He exemplified both. He was a life-long learner, storyteller, problem solver, news junkie, proud professional, and volunteer. Although sometimes baffled as the only male in a female household, he was immensely proud of his wife and daughters' accomplishments. He was famously enthusiastic and optimistic. He was self-confident (also self-critical), ethical, persistent, impatient, and charming. He loved classical music, flowers (especially orchids), Chinese food, baseball, reading (non-fiction only), and a good laugh. He admired health care workers, educators, professional classical musicians, and leaders with moral principles.

Rest in peace Ray. Thank you for all you taught and shared with us. Love you always.

The family encourages those wanting to make a memorial donation in Ray's name to consider Light Hill Comfort Care Home , 5160 Parrish Street Extension, Canandaigua, NY 14424; Episcopal Senior Life Communities Foundation (Valley Manor) ; University of Rochester Medical Center ; or the WRUR radio station at the University of Rochester .

To share a special memory please visit Ray's tribute wall at www.murphyfuneralservices.com.